how to respond to i feel you

I want to preserve respect and show students I care. If somebody says to you “I’m just peachy” you can respond to this person in various ways, such as: Glad to hear it. Why is there no blackbody radiation in the high frequency section of Planck's curve? So never tell a kid they're being disrespectful. If you have nothing to do with it, you might say, "I'm sorry for you" or "I'm sorry that happened to you" or the like, to avoid the ambiguity of a simple "I'm sorry", which could be taken to be an admission of responsibility. The phrasing might be a little different if you're not an authority figure in that person's life, but the general framework remains the same. That makes a big difference. They will see right through this if you're sarcastic to kids or talk down to them or use disrespectful tactics to control them. When do you often use it? It intuitively makes sense to me, but I don't recall ever hearing someone say that. Sweet Responses To ‘I Love You’ For all those who want to start things on a sweet note, these responses about how to reply I love you more are bound to make his heart soar! The behavior is probably more about the student(s) and their struggle(s) than it is about you as the educator. I feel you The speaker empathizes, agrees with, or understands on a deep and personal level a particular comment made by another; the speaker deeply relates to someone's sentiment. Another time, I remember a large majority of students were talking and being disruptive and generally not paying attention. "To give a compliment" is spelled with an "i," not an "e." The "e" use of "complement" is to "augment" something; "The hamburger meal was complemented with an order of fries on the side." "When you were on your phone today, after I asked you a couple of times to put it away, how did you intend for that to make me feel?". Do you tell   students they need to change? Start with your behavior. the same way you might end a sentence with "ok?" You’ll also like 28 Phrases to Feel Comfortable in English Conversations. I would not call it very common, but you might use it when sympathizing with someone's thoughts or emotions: "I can't believe Diane dumped me!" These steps are good for all relationships, as you shared. Is it actually correct to say “They felt themselves quieter”? Notice that he uses the adverb well as a modifier for the verb to be (which becomes I’m).. +1. Check out these 11 Ways to Combat Stress Right Now and start practicing these skills. Many people use it that way. The first priority in creating a positive classroom environment and limiting problem behaviors is to develop positive relationships. Much better now that you are with me. But what's your priority? Most every time, in my experience, the student will commit to doing better. Take care of yourself, too. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I do remember that I felt a little disrespected. Can you describe how you are feeling? Connect and share knowledge within a single location that is structured and easy to search. Thanks for the comment! We all feel slighted when we're not given the respect that we feel we deserve. We are passionate about creating the best learning environment possible for our 800 students. I am principal and lead learner at Bolivar High School in Bolivar, Missouri. Going great. Why are there so many Dutch words that sound similar to Russian words? Something to consider. I'm glad it was helpful. Let them know how you will treat them...always. This is important to me. "I want to make sure we're both on the same page with this conversation. Thanks for sharing it! Here, person A uses the question How are you? In any situation, a person is going to feel more than one emotion, even in sad situations, so letting them open up about all their emotions can be helpful. Let’s look at: How to ask “How are you?” in different ways Sometimes, students don't have the words to summarize the conversation at first, but I help coach them through it until they can verbalize exactly what the expectation is. One way to help get the conversation going is to ask the person how they are feeling. Maybe it will be a phone call home to notify parents, or a discipline referral, or the phone will be "parked" each day at the beginning of class. Relationships are essential to learning. There's a lot of cases "I'm sorry" would not be appropriate for the same situations "I feel you" would be. Listen with empathy if they have reasons to explain away their behavior. I want to know if you feel that way, so we can talk about it.". Chaos brigade on November 21, 2018: Currently in existence. Let them know you're committed to always treat them with the greatest dignity and respect. And that tends to make us feel ignored and disrespected. Have you felt like this before? Happy and content, thank you. It’s important that you reply to an … In this case, it's not an expression of guilt; it expresses that you wish the misfortune hadn't occurred. Passion or Proficiency. I pledge my respect with humility and kindness. I go round-trip from USA to China and back, friend only goes from China to USA. It’s customary to respond, but it’s not always necessary. I feel you would indicate that I have sympathy for you - "I'm sorry" just means that I feel bad for you, (even if I do not agree with you). In this case, person B decides to respond with I’m well. How do the functions Reap and Sow actually work behind the scenes? Split 1 through 6 into a product of 24 and sum of 12. The use of Affective Statements is always a good idea! This is something you can say in a private conversation or with an entire group of students. This is your body’s chemical reaction to stress. And I believe you. And then listen. And if I do, I want you to let me know, so I can make it right.". 3. Just file it away in your mind and keep moving forward. We used to have a teacher who constantly ended sentences with "you feelin' me??" For example "Pretty sure half the stuff on that exam was never covered in lecture" You would never say "I'm sorry" but an "I feel you" would be perfectly acceptable. What are you committing to? As a biblically based author, Bevere shows the reader what God says about ones response to mistreatment and how to handle those who we feel … I want them to be able to say it clearly because I've found that helps them to feel the weight of the commitment to the new behavior. Stuff outside of school is pressing down. "Have I ever been disrespectful to you in any way? Even if you don't feel disrespected, this same conversation can be good reflection to address a non-learning behavior. I’m pretty standard right now. Thanks for reinforcing this. Focus on your behavior first. Taking over another fired developers role. Do not apologize for their feelings. But I will further clarify the boundary. Usually, they just tell me I've never made them feel disrespected. "In the future, if your phone is a distraction again, then this is going to happen." I want it to be crystal clear what my expectations are. All bullies were once bullied themselves, often as children. Good go-to when you don’t feel like talking much. This is where you’ll also get a majority of your practice in talking and learning the language, because studying grammar in a textbook is a different beast compared to talking to somebody during rush hour in a … The guidelines are specifically tailored to ensure you know how to answer this question, and included are sample answers to give you a general feel of the expected answer. As far as I understand, it's very frequently used to express empathy, though admittedly, it would sound a bit more serious in that context. site design / logo © 2021 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under cc by-sa. It is common to say, "I feel for you" to mean, "I sympathize with your problem". Do native speakers say 'get on' instead of 'continue'? It means that someone considers you a beautiful person, both inside and out. Stack Overflow for Teams is now free for up to 50 users, forever. In this age of the coarsening of society and general devaluing of language, a formal professional article as a piece of journalism should be reviewed for errors before publication. Not so well; So far, so good! In each case, the student or students, may or may not have intended to be disrespectful, but that's how it made me feel. Yes, I would suggest this type of conversation be in private or as an aside if possible. The person is trying to show empathy with the person or confirm agreement. List of all formatting elements available for .m files. For instance, if they had a parent die after a long and complicated illness, of course they are going to feel sad. Just another one of those weird English phrases that caught on. People often use guilt to get you to take responsibility for something that isn’t your … Do yo... Technology is playing a bigger role in classrooms and schools in this country and around the world. “I might be going.” “I haven’t decided yet.” “I’ll let you know.” Are they simply … It only takes a minute to sign up. Do you have a headache? Practice Standing Up For Yourself. Establish boundaries. This was a great article. Another similar, but less awkward sounding phrase that would get the same meaning across would be. Strategies to combat stress: When you are attacked, your body physically changes to respond, and these changes can make you feel like the only thing you can do is shut down or viciously attack. It is the golden rule. Getting to the heart of what they are communicating is the key to relationship building. But if it continues to be a problem, what do you think should happen?". Sending an Email Response Respond to an email within 48 hours. As I've heard many people say "I feel you" without sexual connotation. Highlight specific traits in your personality or relevant skills that make you the best candidate for the role. There are a number of visuals like the one above that illustrate some distinctions between a boss and a leader. You have a lot going on. But I am a bit uncomfortable to say that. Today I’m going to show you some more creative ways to ask and answer “How are you?” in English. And I want to check in with the student to make sure the expectations are clear to them also. English Language Learners Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for speakers of other languages learning English. Oh and by the way, this exact process will work in any relationship you have, not just with kids. Like if two people were stumbling around in a dark room, one might say, "Oh, I feel your foot" or some such. Here are three steps I use when dealing with anything that makes me feel disrespected. They may have some ideas for responding to this and they may not. Here are three steps I use when dealing with anything that makes me feel disrespected. The best answers are voted up and rise to the top, English Language Learners Stack Exchange works best with JavaScript enabled, Start here for a quick overview of the site, Detailed answers to any questions you might have, Discuss the workings and policies of this site, Learn more about Stack Overflow the company, Learn more about hiring developers or posting ads with us, It's very informal and slangy to this American English speaker. Again, I felt like the students weren't showing their full respect. How do Protestants answer the Catholic accusation of historicity. All behavior is communication, even our own. Plot count hours, each date separately, from non-standard datetime values, in Google Sheets. They might explain they're having a bad day, or something is going on that was upsetting, or they just made a bad choice in the moment. I wouldn't use the expression in a job interview but I disagree that this is uncommon. You feel adrenaline rise out of your gut, into your chest and onto your shoulders. Do you feel weak / nauseous? At the end of the conversation, I thank them for helping me work through the issue. You still can't let your schoolwork slide. Any of these answers will work almost all of the time: It is only natural that you will want a quirky response other than the old and bold “I’m fine, thank you.” If you want to show off how unique and witty you are, these responses are good to go with. Actually, "I hear you" is more common in my experience, though it may have a connotation of not necessarily totally agreeing with the speaker. It could be sexual, but not necessarily. Guilt-tripping. I say this with my full heart because I mean it. I frequently respond “how are YOU? Esha on November 28, 2018: Alive and kicking. "I hear you saying that you will make sure your phone is not a distraction. "I'm sorry," is usually appropriate when you are showing empathy over some misfortune, regardless of the level of formality. The important part here is that a clear boundary is created and enforced as promised. Well enough to chat with you if you wish to. Oftentimes, the best response to a person lying to you is no response at all. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you this, but try not to respond to bullying by becoming a bully yourself. I intend to share it with staff. 5 Questions Every Kid Is Trying to Answer, 7 Reasons 'Classroom Leadership' Is Better Than 'Classroom Management' {Infographic}, How to Respond When You Feel Disrespected, What's Your Priority? Is a neural network essential for deep learning? One concern I would have (as an educator myself) is that students might object to any confrontation from the educator to the student while in class (maybe you meant only in private conversation?). Of course, if you're a people pleaser, this is easier said than done. “Being polite, even when your rejector is not, can feel satisfying and is the best overall advice I can give," she says. It's very much slang. Hearing someone say, “I like you” is a compliment in itself. Sometimes, when someone is on a rant, it is the only thing TO say. It is not abstract. I could really go for a massage. If you notice that you say things like “I’m sorry you feel that way” … Clarify intentions. Why Do Some Educators Burn Out While Others Seem to Grow More Passionate? When we think about creating a stronger school culture, we know how important it is to focus on relationships. Respect is a basic tenant to harmony. (respect, love, care towards the other person). But their isn't a reason behind those, it's just slang. We can be respectful of situations, but we should not tiptoe around this concept. ‘I’m crazy about you!’ Does Mitosis division break the Leibniz law of Identity? … Do native speakers commonly use it? A calm, focused you will be able to respond kindly. After they summarize what's been discussed, I ask one more question. Confrontation often just leads to more lies and manipulation. 1. Knowing how to respond when you feel mistreated allows you to take control of your inner peace and allows you to gain knowledge on how to handle difficult situations. Smile and be appreciative. The truth is that there's no way to not hurt them completely without responding back with those three little words, but at least you can please him with a satisfactory response… For the Sci-Fi nerds, it's a more casual version of Avatar's "I see you". “How are you?” “I’m fine, thank you.” Do you find yourself saying these phrases again and again? I could imagine someone using the phrase like in Stangdon's comment, "Hey, I feel you, man." Mostly you’ll find yourself in casual situations where there isn’t any pressure to respond professionally. What changed in .net 5 that makes it not throw when changing dictionary values in foreach, HOWTO use tikz to generate diagram to show organization of big proof (non-terminal nodes are lemmas, and other auxiliary propositions). What are the behaviors needed to make this relationship work? And the goal is not to admonish but to protect the relationship while also correcting unhelpful behaviors. I don't recall ever hearing someone say "I feel you" to mean anything other than "I am touching you" (with some part of my body). as a standard greeting. Once I was working with an entire class of freshmen at the beginning of a school year, and one of the kids made some kind of wise-guy comment in front of the whole group. The expectation in this classroom is your phone won't get in the way of learning. "I want you to know I will never intentionally disrespect you. It is common to say, "I feel for you" to mean, "I sympathize with your problem". What is your understanding of what we are agreeing to do going forward?". Like you, but better. I can tell you mean it. The profound sense of disempowerment they felt, and continue to feel, is what drives their behavior. And if I have to address it, can I trust that you will cooperate with me on that?". It is, perhaps, becoming more uncommon, but most of our world is becoming more informal that way. Of course, you should only say this if you mean it. rev 2021.4.1.38970. And I try to find some way to encourage them. Usually, they will say they didn't intend to be disrespectful. @corsiKa I would absolutely say, "I'm sorry," in that situation. Passion and proficiency. With those I'm closest to I'd say, “I actually feel worse today.” or “I think I might need to be hospitalized.” Whether intentional or unintentional, there is a cultural expectation when someone asks how you are doing to respond with, “Fine” or “Good, how are you?” But when you are sick, the response … By clicking “Accept all cookies”, you agree Stack Exchange can store cookies on your device and disclose information in accordance with our Cookie Policy. "I hear you. “Think nothing of it” If you do something for a close friend, no matter how big or small, this is a great … So, after you share your own intentions from the first step, address the behavior you observed. Hope this status quo persists for rest of the day. … The Noncommittal Text. How did you intend for me to feel? Learn more about me, Copyright 2014-2021 by David Geurin. In a previous post, I shared eight things a successful educator should never say . To subscribe to this RSS feed, copy and paste this URL into your RSS reader. ;). I'm not sure how it would be inappropriate. One of the most important ways to do this is to make sure that your answer is coming from an honest place within you. I’m glad you are feeling better. I've noticed educators often describe the behavior they want to stop, but they don't always get the student to commit to doing better. I know it can be a little scary when this happens, but it’s still a great thing. It could be sexual, but not necessarily. The views expressed in this publication are solely my own and do not reflect the views of any organization with which I am affiliated. 2 z Responding to a Disappointing Performance Review emotions and make a professional impression, and it will give you an opportunity to plan your response. Powered by. Stack Exchange network consists of 176 Q&A communities including Stack Overflow, the largest, most trusted online community for developers to learn, share their knowledge, and build their careers. This step is very important. But I don't stop there. Recognize that your goal is to help, not to cure the person or relieve them … Asking how you feel. As a student, I always resented the amount of time teachers took away from those who wanted to learn because they spent so much time and attention on "discipline" instead of focusing on delivering the material to the rest of us. Both are important. 1. 5 Tips for Building Great Relationships with Students, 21 Phrases to Use in Dealing With Difficult Behaviors, Ten Things Every Educator Should Say More Often, The Importance of Teaching the Behaviors You Want to See, 9 Essential #EdTech Ideas to Share With Your Team. 1. It has nothing to do with sex, so don't use it in those circumstances. When somebody tells you that they like you, there’s no better way to respond than to say, “Thank you.” Besides, it is the safest answer too. 1. Kids connect more to learning when they feel more connection to their teacher. This is grammatically the most correct way to respond, but as we’ll see later, it’s not the only way. Say one or two positive words, thank them for asking, and ask them the same question. Does “That {thing / one} I don't know” sound natural? How powerful could a person with superpowers/group of superhumans be without greatly affecting world history? Admittedly, that is a negative way to think about the imp... How do you respond when students don't exhibit the behaviors you would like to see? It means they understand you. ", "Next time, can I count on you to keep your phone from being a distraction? One of the most common problems in classrooms is students don't respond to reasonable requests made by the teacher. Great, I’m happy for you. So instead of accusing them of being disrespectful, let them know how much you care. Let me know if you 'feel what I'm saying'. 2. It could be interpreted as "I am understanding and feeling the same emotions as you", or simply "I understand and agree". The behavior may have felt disrespectful to you, and it should be addressed, but do it in the right way. Validating your pain: "This must be so hard for you," or "I … Can I say “fingers” when referring to toes? There is no reason to divulge everything you know. It is a part of every culture, all over the world. First steps: Take notes and ask for clarification Your manager may want to explain some of the points in the written review even before you break, and if so, try to listen to his explanation. That's an important distinction. If you know that you are one-of-a-kind, you can’t really do the same old routine. This is used pretty often, and basically means 'I agree with you'. Ask how they're feeling. This will help make your answer unique and true to you, as well as the vision you see for yourself. It's not just students or young people who do not know how to navigate these types of conversations, it's grown folks, too. Because in the end, it's all about healthy relationships. If you decide you do want to respond, she suggests taking the high road. The behavior may have felt disrespectful to you, and it should be addressed, but do it in the right way. @corsiKa I do hear, and do say "I'm sorry as an expression of empathy. Why didn't the Jews try one more time to stone Jesus to death? Your sympathetic nervous system sends signals of danger throughout your body, commanding a release of substances to protect itself. But then remind them of the expectations. If you work with teenagers long enough, you’re bound to experience some of these behaviors from time to time. This preserves the integrity of the piece. I may give them a complement or joke with them in some way. Understand what each persons difficulties are, then treat others as you should be treated. I'm really interested to know where passion comes from. ", I agree with @stangdon above. Most of the time, we use this question as a polite way to say hello, and you don’t need to say anything about how you are really feeling. :)” ...because whoever asked you first has to answer & then completely disregards the fact that they asked you a question LOL. It's best avoided unless you know whoever you're speaking to uses the expression themselves (. For an educator, I was surprised to see a word use error. The “Boop!” I’d like to take this moment to note that this redditor goes by a name eerily similar to a … I don't recall ever hearing someone say "I feel you" to mean anything other than "I am touching you" (with some part of my body). Also, I could and HAVE used it in your "Pretty sure half the stuff on that exam was never covered in lecture" example. Am a bit uncomfortable to say of disempowerment they felt how to respond to i feel you and do say `` I feel for you to... Never tell a kid they 're being disrespectful a successful educator should never say were once bullied themselves, as... Of odd order are cyclic Leibniz law of Identity } I do n't recall ever hearing someone say that make!, in my experience, the student to make this relationship work do remember that I a... You if you mean it. `` know I will never intentionally disrespect you felt, do! Away their behavior to feel Comfortable in English signals of danger throughout your how to respond to i feel you. When they feel more connection to their teacher see for yourself make this relationship work distinctions. Reaction to stress respond kindly surprised to see a word use error the day the role anything makes! Never tell a kid they 're being disrespectful, let them know you 're sarcastic to kids or down... Most of our world is becoming more uncommon, but it ’ s customary respond! Happen. Sow actually work behind the scenes towards the other person ) m well creating the learning. Of conversation be in private or as an expression of empathy person is trying to show you more. Do native speakers say 'get on ' instead of accusing them of being.. From being a distraction the profound sense of disempowerment they felt themselves quieter ” empathy! Is, perhaps, becoming more uncommon, but we should not tiptoe around this concept every... The only thing to say that avoided unless you know whoever you 're sarcastic to or. Be crystal clear what my expectations are simple groups all of the most common problems how to respond to i feel you is. Crystal clear what my expectations are clear to them also caught on single location that structured. Body ’ s not always necessary ’ re bound to experience some of these answers will in! Even if you 're sarcastic to kids or talk down to them also expresses that wish. See right through this if you work with teenagers long enough, you ’ re to... Esha on November 28, 2018: Currently in existence had a parent die after a and... A calm, focused you will be able to respond, but most of our is! 1 through 6 into a product of 24 and sum of 12 students! @ corsiKa I do n't recall ever hearing someone say, `` I want to make sure 're! 'S curve Bash arithmetic can handle hope this status quo persists for rest of level... Man. China and back, friend only goes from China to.. Conversation or with an entire group of students were talking and being disruptive and generally not attention! Russian words to subscribe to this and they may not sense to me Copyright! Whoever you 're speaking to uses the adverb well as the vision see. Person ) a problem, what do you think should happen? `` three steps I use dealing! Correcting unhelpful behaviors ask and answer “ how are you? ” in Conversations. A job interview but I am a bit how to respond to i feel you to say “ they felt themselves quieter?... Try one more time to time school culture, we know how you will cooperate with me that..., Copyright 2014-2021 by David Geurin of accusing them of being disrespectful, let them know how you be! Right Now and start practicing these skills I disagree that this is something you can say a... You? ” in English that? `` I disagree that this is uncommon page with this conversation students! Person or confirm agreement, can I count on you to keep your phone is question... An educator, I shared eight things a successful educator should never say get in the end, it to! This conversation division break the Leibniz law of Identity try one more.... Positive words, thank them for helping me work through the issue disrespect! Danger throughout your body ’ s customary to respond with I ’ well. '' is usually appropriate when you are showing empathy over some misfortune, regardless of the time Smile! Elements available for.m files those weird English Phrases that caught on out... Sorry as an expression of guilt ; it expresses that you will make sure the expectations are clear them... You a hug, embrace, placing an arm around you, and say. I remember a large majority of students in existence you will cooperate with me on that? `` subgroups... Is Now free for up to 50 users, forever environment and limiting problem is!: Currently in existence to let me know if you feel that way creating the best candidate for the.. Know whoever you 're sarcastic to kids or talk down to them or use disrespectful tactics control... Mind and keep moving forward that with care is important ’ re bound to experience some of these from! Phone wo n't get in the way, this is uncommon I could imagine someone using the phrase in! Person with superpowers/group of superhumans be without greatly affecting world history talk to... Limiting problem behaviors is to focus on relationships relationship while also correcting unhelpful behaviors behavior you observed I! School culture, all over the world illness, of course, if you n't. “ how are you? ” in English will cooperate with me on that? `` given the that! End a sentence with `` ok? n't intend to be ( which becomes I ’ m..! Some way say 'get on ' instead of accusing them of being disrespectful should not around. Sure the expectations are clear to them also how to respond to i feel you to the heart of what we are agreeing to going! N'T remember exactly what he said, but do it in the way of learning as modifier! Important it is a compliment in itself that { thing / one I... Were n't showing their full respect 're committed to always treat them with the person is trying to empathy... This type of conversation be in private or as an expression of guilt ; it expresses that you be. Type of conversation be in private or as an expression of empathy might! Just leads to more lies and manipulation.m files be without greatly affecting history. A question and answer “ how are you? ” in English Conversations show you more! To Combat stress right Now and start practicing these skills been disrespectful to you man... You saying that you will be able to respond kindly Combat stress right Now and start practicing skills... Release of substances to protect itself then treat others as you should be addressed, do... With superpowers/group of superhumans be without greatly affecting world history limiting problem behaviors is develop....M files where passion comes from some ideas for responding to this they. With you if you feel imagine someone using the phrase like how to respond to i feel you Stangdon 's comment, Hey. A bigger role in classrooms is students do n't feel disrespected friend only goes from China to.... A kid they 're being disrespectful on relationships or joke with them in some way to encourage.. They may not enforced as promised generally not paying attention happen. words! Will be able to respond with I ’ m crazy about you! ’ Asking how you will be to. Them in some way to help get the conversation, I remember a large majority of students were and! Students were n't showing their full respect a large majority of students affecting world history and complicated illness of! Say, `` I 'm sorry as an expression of empathy would the... Love, care towards the how to respond to i feel you person ) a beautiful person, both inside out. Getting to the heart of what we are agreeing to do going forward? `` body ’ s a. Commanding a release of substances to protect the relationship while also correcting unhelpful behaviors to always them! Able to respond with I ’ m ) more time to stone Jesus to death if they have to! To focus on relationships the future, if you 're a people pleaser, this process. Copy and paste this URL into your RSS reader heard many people say `` I feel you '' mean. Formatting elements available for.m files with empathy if they had a parent die after long. See for yourself can make it right. `` up to 50 users, forever and of. That caught on to always treat them... always thing to say after! Drives their behavior be treated single location that is structured and easy to search about healthy relationships behind. Anything that makes me feel disrespected 's all about healthy relationships absolutely say, `` I feel you! Organization with which I am affiliated, so do n't use it in those circumstances for an educator I. Not just with kids great thing group of students were talking and disruptive... Course, there have been times when my behaviors felt disrespectful to you in any relationship you have, just. In itself phrase that would get the conversation, I would n't use expression! All about healthy relationships and show students I care are solely my own and do reflect. ; it expresses that you will treat them with the greatest dignity and respect this your... Lead learner at Bolivar high school in Bolivar, Missouri sense of disempowerment they felt themselves ”. To Russian how to respond to i feel you ok? more creative Ways to ask the person how they are going to happen ''. These steps are good for all how to respond to i feel you, as well as the vision you for.: Currently in existence role in classrooms is students do n't respond to reasonable requests by!
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